Schadenfraude overload

1 Aug

There are few things I care less about in the world than what Heidi and Spencer are up to. Like, less than five things. The list probably goes pottery, mittens, astrology, whatever is on Bravo and then Heidi and Spencer.

So believe me when I tell you that you are going to want to read this feature on the couple. Go right now. Here’s a sampling of what you’ll find:

“At that point, we were pulling our last cards,” Spencer said. “We felt the hot-air balloon losing its gas. And at that stage, our income would be selling the photo that would go along with the divorce.”

Not enough to lure you in? Fair enough. Check out Spencer’s latest venture:

“The new thing is to take a picture of someone just to tweet it—even if they hate me. Like, ‘Look at this idiot I just saw,’ ” Spencer said.

Genius! Still not interested? Take this for a spin and let me know how it feels:

“We’re watching movies,” Heidi said. “I do a lot of laundry. A lot of laundry. We’re training our dogs, so I’m cleaning up less poop inside, which is great.”

She’s got a point there.

The most enjoyable part  is that Spencer details the numerous levels of his manipulation so thoroughly that the entire article — which is essentially one long Speidi mea culpa — reads like some enthralling piece of performance art in which the more the two of them claim to be regretful and not obsessed with being famous anymore, the more calculating and desperate they come off. It’s a real hoot.

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