Two main reasons:
1. Your bonus gift for signing up with the DISH Network: a free gun! Beats the hell out of complimentary HBO for three months, that’s fer goddamn sure.
2. Your politicians will fight with the House of Representatives to ease up on those dastardly DUI laws. I mean, a government telling me when I can and can’t drive home from the tavern after a barley pop or nine? When did this once-great country turn into Fascist Socialist Obamacare Russia-France Queersville, amirite?
(Bonus reason: the kick-ass ties.)