AMERICAN HERO OF THE WEEK: I give “ten sexy ladies” to Joshua Allen’s new blog Ten Sexy Ladies, in which he reviews things, but not really, mostly just tells hilarious super-short stories. Allen is a genius and I am furious at you for not knowing who he is. That needs to stop right now. Go read.
VILLAIN OF THE YEAR: Guys, you aren’t going to believe this, but a fundamentalist preacher known for protesting gay festivals was arrested for fondling himself near a playground. Lock this man up forever.
FUN NEW GAME: The Daily Intel’s “Sheen, Beck or Qaddafi” was entertaining and legitimately difficult. I went 7-15, which is of course terrible, but who cares about scores when we’ve got this quote to brighten our days: “You want to call me crazy? Go to hell. Call me crazy all you want!”