The best sports fans

20 Oct

I can’t decide between…

(A) The overly optimistic fan who has a great idea for a trade, but no idea how trades actually work. One adorable recent example, this time regarding who the Twins might offer in exchange for one Zack Greinke:

I’d offer a package of Blackburn, a reliever who might walk anyway (Rauch? Guerrier?), and maybe a disposable prospect.

Does the Royals general manager have any say in this trade? Do the other teams in the league have a chance to offer something a bit less craptastic than the pile of steaming garbage you just offered up for a stud pitcher? (Also, both Rauch and Guerrier are free agents. You are not allowed to trade them.)

Sorry for the attitude. I tease because I love, friend.

Let’s move on to the second option…

(B) The fan so overly protective of the sport he loves that he has lost all objectivity over its popularity. This fan loves a second-tier sport with all his might, and after futilely trying to convince everyone in his life that they just need to give the goddamn game a chance, it’s really great, honest, you don’t know what you’re missing, bro, it’s gotten way better, he resorts to just blatantly making shit up about how it’s perceived. Here is a recent example, from the hockey-loving Deadspinner while discussing the inevitable suspension of the hothead Canuck that lunged at a fan this week:

So concerned with being family- and fan-friendly, and wanting to distance itself from a perception that no one’s actually held in decades, Bettman’s going to come down hard on Rypien as a warning.

No one has held the perception that hockey is a sport played by a bunch of rabble-rousing numskulls? Here is my counter-point: no. No way in hell does the general sports fan think the game of hockey is any less the chippy, pro-fighting sport it’s been for years. Was anyone in America even *slightly* surprised to hear about that Canuck grabbing an unruly fan? Again: no.

God bless you, irrational sports fans. You keep me young.


One Response to “The best sports fans”

  1. Jon October 21, 2010 at 12:48 pm #

    On Point A: In the history of the internet, no fan has ever come up with a legitimately fair trade. I am reminded of the time that a Mariners site wanted the Twins to trade Jose Mijares and Alexi Casilla for Yuniesky Betancourt.

    On Point B: Ow.

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