Burger tour: Murray's

14 Jul

This was a mistake.

Why are we ordering a burger from a steak joint? They don’t care about their burgers. They don’t care about the ambiance.

So, this one is on us. We were in the neighborhood and curious about the burger offerings of steakhouses. We have learned our lesson.


Though you may not know this, Mike and I are not senior citizens. It’s true. Therefore, we didn’t dig the ultra-quiet lunch atmosphere, featuring one small TV on mute, overly roomy surroundings (old people need their space) and unattractive beer list. Sleepy times at Murray’s. Fans of sensory stimulation: stay away.


If there is one thing made abundantly clear during our burger tour, it’s that a too-thick patty can ruin the experience. You’re presented with a “pick your poison” proposition – either it’s overcooked on the outside, or undercooked/soft in the middle. No way to do it right. Burger Rule #1: the patty shall never be more than one finger thick.

The Murray’s burger? A full two fingers.

(It reminded us of the burgers grilled by your average baby boomers, a people who, scared to death of food poisoning, grill meat for roughly an hour longer than recommended, so that pork chops are tougher than shoe leather, steaks are only cooked well-done, no questions asked, and burgers are rock-hard burnt meatballs. This over-grilling strategy ensures the food is both safe to eat and, sadly, inedible.)

The two-finger patty meant the outside was charred, the bun-to-meat ratio was well off, and the bottom bun was quickly grease-soaked. Add in some overcrisped fries and you’ve got two bored, disappointed morons surrounded by too many members of the geriatric community. In other words, not good times.

Though we do expect Murray’s to be the frontrunner when we embark on the Steak Tour in 2045.



Current rankings:

1a. Ike’s

1b. Five Guys

3. The Bulldog

4. Buster’s on 28th

5. Mac’s Industrial

6. Burger Jones

7. Monte Carlo

8. Café Twenty Eight

9. Murray’s


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