I'd probably just order wings or something

2 Jun

Because I am a masochist, I occasionally listen to sports talk radio. Yesterday was one of those days, as I tuned in to Paul Allen during my commute. He had a guest on to discuss the Stanley Cup finals, and the guest was talking about attacking the opponent’s zone and whether a certain situation calls for a “soft dump” of the puck or a “hard around.”

Allen then cut the guy off with the following attempt at a joke (paraphrased but very close to the exact wording): “I know exactly what you mean by that. My wife and kids were out of town last weekend, and I did the “hard around” at my house the whole time.”

I’ve been thinking about this “joke” ever since, and I’m still not sure what he meant. Is he insinuating that he celebrated being alone by walking around the house with a massive erection all weekend? Is he subtly referring to numerous wank-off sessions in various rooms at his home?

Either way, the “hard around” is a very strange way to spend one’s alone time, and even stranger to proudly mention on the radio afterward. Seems like something I’d keep to myself.


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