Monday swag

26 Apr

While most cartoon critics of the early 20th century panned “Winnie the Pooh” as a lowbrow endeavor aimed solely at children, we now realize it was an omniscient glimpse into the future.

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A national group of ex-military leaders is concerned about child obesity and has demanded schools change their lunch menus. This is an effective strategy, because everyone knows the only place a kid has access to junk food is during school lunch.

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A new study has found that an effective treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)  is MDMA, aka the super-fun designer rave drug “ecstasy.” Apparently the study subjects found “unexpected relief” from the drug.

The only surprising news here, of course, is the use of the term “unexpected,” as everyone on the planet could have correctly predicted the results before the study was conducted.

The organization who conducted this experiment is now planning a study to find out whether extreme thirst can be cured by drinking water.

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