Equal parts hilarious and pathetic

15 Jan

I’m guessing everyone has a favorite dating story. Mine comes via a friend, who relayed the following tale to me a few years ago. She was out to dinner with a guy who started telling her how funny he thought finger mustaches were. You know what I mean – drawing a dark curved line on the inside of your index finger and holding it below your nose so it looks like a mustache.

I am not sure how the subject came up, or if he just blurted it out of the blue, but the point is he found the idea of finger mustaches hilarious. Which strikes me as strange, but who am I to judge. Two Christmases ago my uncle set a remote control fart machine near my grandma/his mom and repeatedly played fart noises throughout the night. Each and every time, my entire family erupted in deafening laughter, tears rolling down our cheeks.

My point here is that if that guy enjoys finger mustaches, fine by me.

HOWEVER. The story doesn’t end here.

Later in the night, he took my friend’s index finger and drew a fingerstache on it. She was a good sport, and kindly asked if he was going to draw one on himself as well. “No need,” he said. He then raised his hand toward her to reveal … drum roll please … yes, you guessed it: a finger mustache tattoo.

Swear to god. A tattoo of a fingerstache. (Apparently he’s not alone.) Which makes this not only my favorite dating story, but has also been my favorite ‘ridiculous tattoo’ story, easily besting the second placer of my family friend’s tattoo of Tweety Bird smoking a cigarette.

Why am I telling you this now? Because we have a new ridiculous tattoo challenger in town. As seen on Videogum, apparently one mentally unstable individual tattooed glasses on his face. Glasses. On. His face. There is video if you don’t believe it.

This is one of those cries for attention that are so over-the-top that, after his family and friends stop laughing at him, they should probably admit him immediately to a mental hospital. A tattoo like that should come with a free strait jacket.

Conclusion: sorry, finger mustache guy, but you’ve been bumped to #2.

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One Response to “Equal parts hilarious and pathetic”

  1. Dolds January 21, 2010 at 3:44 pm #

    I think I’ve met that girl who dated that guy!

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