My favorite news item of 2010

6 Jan

Many fans of the sporting life will remember the name Jayson Williams. He was the wildly overpaid power forward who accidentally shot and killed his limo driver during the “gun show” portion of a late-night tour of his insane mansion. Most recently, as in earlier this week, he got into a one-car crash and injured himself.

OK, nothing funny so far, but we’re just about there. I now present to you the following snippet from the article, which, unless you have an unfunctioning funny bone I promise you will love love LOVE:

“Williams was in the passenger seat when officers arrived. But witnesses told police they saw him on the driver’s side. Officers say no one else was in the car.”

Wow. I mean, just…wow. Let’s all take a moment to read that passage a few more times. The key here is visualizing the scene.

“Yeah, I can see how you think it’s a bit strange to see a passenger sitting in a car driven by an invisible person, but I don’t know what to tell you. I was just sitting over here minding my own business, whistlin’ Dixie while looking out the window, and all of a sudden we crashed. That is the extent of my knowledge on this one. Sorry, officer. Wish I had more to report.”

I haven’t decided the exact age where I would forgive this pathetic yet hilarious lack of reasoning skills, but at this point I’m thinking around 8 or 9. Not a great sign for Mr. Williams.

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One Response to “My favorite news item of 2010”

  1. stinger January 6, 2010 at 3:07 pm #

    He did have one of the best Cribs ever though, right?

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