Tuesday swag

27 Jul

>> This is almost too insane to believe: two people with the same exact name, who found each other on Facebook, are getting married.

>> Friend of WoB lattewarrior penned a “how you know you’re too old for the club scene” post that is worth a read. I fit none of his descriptions, which probably means it’s time for me to grow up. I’ll probably wait until my new bedazzled button-downs wear out, though. Smart economics.

>> Beloved weirdo Sarah Palin officially resigned this past weekend, and if you thought she might unleash a torrent of hilariously idiotic statements, you are in luck. I’ll just ahead and re-post Daily Intel’s summary.

The great farewell addresses throughout American history have always carried with them wise, often prescient, warnings of the dangers to our country — such as George Washington’s fear of entangling alliances, or Dwight Eisenhower’s resistance to the military-industrial complex. Yesterday, as she stepped down from the governorship of Alaska, Sarah Palin continued this great tradition by regaling her listeners — in unnecessarily hyperbolic terms, as is her way — with a veritable greatest-hits list of conservative bogeymen that threaten the American way of life:

The Media!:

Democracy depends on you, and that is why — that’s why our troops are willing to die for you. So how about, in honor of the American soldier, you quit making things up?”

Hollywood!:

You’re going to see anti-hunting, anti-Second Amendment circuses from Hollywood. And here’s how they do it: They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets. They use Alaska as a fund-raising tool for their anti-Second Amendment causes. Stand strong and remind them patriots will protect our individual guaranteed right to bear arms.

The Federal Government!:

We must value and live the optimistic pioneering spirit that made this state proud and free. And we can resist enslavement to big central government that crushes hope and opportunity.

Umm … America-hating Straw Men!:

We are facing tough challenges in America, with some seeming to just be hell-bent maybe on tearing down our nation, perpetuating some pessimism, and suggesting American apologetics, suggesting perhaps that our best days were yesterdays.

Please return to the cushiony bosom of public speaking soon, Mrs. Palin. The world could use the laughs.

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3 Responses to “Tuesday swag”

  1. Dave MN July 28, 2009 at 8:16 am #

    Sarah Palin…you are a delight.

    Alaska does have “country pride”, so much so that they want to be their own separate country.

  2. RandBall's Stu July 28, 2009 at 8:56 am #

    In case you missed it, both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert had a field day with her transcendent lunacy on Monday evening.

  3. RandBall's Stu July 28, 2009 at 9:15 am #

    Forgot that Gawker’s take on the speech was also outstanding:

    It’s like Peggy Noonan, Jack London, and William Faulkner wandered into the woods with three buttons of peyote and one typewriter, and only this speech emerged.

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