Wednesday swag

21 Jul

{+} I don’t recall where I first saw this quote, but it amused me enough to pass along. From singer Adele:

Americans are always mortified when I tell them this, but in England, it’s a tradition to put your plaques and photographs and awards and gold records and stuff in your bathroom. I don’t know why. [I’ve heard that] The Beatles did it, the Rolling Stones did it…So, I’ve got a big cabinet on the wall, and the Grammys are on the middle shelf. It’s funny, I was seeing this guy last summer, and he had no idea who I was. We never spoke about music, which I thought was a little weird, but I thought maybe he was just trying to make me feel comfortable by seeming unfazed by my success. But the first time to my house, he went to the toilet, and when he came out he said, “Who the fuck are you?”

It’s funny, I used to get the same reaction when women would notice the framed restraining orders in my bathroom. Must be universal.

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{+} The ever-annoying Jada Pinkett Smith claims she and husband the Fresh Prince were late for the Oscars this past year because they were getting it on in the limo. Which proves my theory that Scientology turns you into a blatant liar.

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{+} The Daily Intel brings the pain yet again, this time concerning the recent dust-up between Rachel Maddow and Pat Buchanan. In a post explaining why young liberals and old conservatives will never get along, they wrote:

Once fixed on the topic, Buchanan lets himself get more and more worked up about the fact that minorities and women are taking advantage of the system to get ahead in America, which isn’t fair because white men only got 200 years to take advantage of it for just themselves. But really, the conversation between Maddow and Buchanan is more of an awesomely simple explanation for why you liberal yuppies and your Jim Beam–smelling white grandpas (or, if you are not white, a Jim Beam–smelling gramps of your choice) will never understand one another. He just does not comprehend why a group should ever get special treatment, and you just do not comprehend what he thinks he’s seeing when he looks in a mirror.

Yep, that about sums it up.

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{+} Here is that vita.mn article about the douchebag overpopulation in Minneapolis that has already been sent to you by at least three other people. Obvious stuff, but enjoyable nonetheless. I swear 75% of the bar-goers these days are eihter douchebags or hipsters, both of which are hatable walking cliches.

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{+} I hope you are all enjoying the hillbilly soap opera that is Jeremy Mayfield’s life as much as I am. What’s say we recap the ongoing insanity, just because.

First, NASCAR reports that Mayfield has tested positive for meth. He goes on record to call them filthy liars. They report that he fails yet another test, at which point Mayfield goes one step further to claim they are spiking the results. To make matters even better, Mayfield’s stepmother goes public with news that she has seen him repeatedly taking meth. Mayfield promptly calls her a whore and a murderer (yes, this is true). Because obviously, the best way to earn public credibility is to call your family member a murdering whore.

Just a beautiful story all around. Stay tuned for the next installment of this already classic hayseed dramedy.

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3 Responses to “Wednesday swag”

  1. Dave MN July 22, 2009 at 9:47 am #

    I swear 75% of the bar-goers these days are eihter douchebags or hipsters, both of which are hatable walking cliches.

    Depends on what you’re calling a “bar”

    If you go to Town Hall, Grumpy’s on Washington, Stub and Herbs, The Bulldog on Lyndale, The Cardinal, or anywhere not located downtown or in the Hennepin/Lake area of Uptown, the douchebag/hipster ratio is greatly diminished.

  2. Numero 6 July 23, 2009 at 10:25 am #

    I suddenly feel the urge to throw out any and all items in my house which may be used as hair gel. (this includes hand lotion, Shally) If one is married, plays baseball, and claims their favorite bar in the Twin Cities is the Sunshine Factory…is it still ok to be concerned with one’s appearance?

    Also, Adele’s quote is priceless. I would have loved to have been in the room when he came out of the bathroom.

  3. A.B. July 27, 2009 at 11:30 am #

    I knew it wasn’t my imagination! I knew I’d been seeing more d-bags than ever before on the rare nights I venture out of my home. Where did they come from? Why are they here?

    My working theory about their sudden appearance is that these people watch a lot of reality TV and believe that they are Rock Stars, or at least deserve to be. They need to get out and show what they’ve got.

    When I look at these guys, I think, “eeeuuu.” But I have to wonder, how would they have dressed in another era? Who would they be if they weren’t trying to be each other?

    Rhinestones: Yuck.
    The smell of Hollister: Barfola.
    Giant Sunglasses: Who are these dudes, Nicole Ritchie?
    Ed Hardy: Why?
    $200 Jeans: Anyone who thinks that much about their pants is not someone any smart woman would let into hers.

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