Let us all purify ourselves in the water from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

19 Jul

Half of my family hails from the city of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Cedar Rapids is a decently sized Midwestern city located more or less in the middle of nowhere, with a population of approximately 120,000 corncob-gobbling yokels. There are an alarming number of white people: 92% (well, alarming unless you live in the vanilla Midwest). They have an average median income, which is in line with the rest of their equally average demographic info.

Considering these factors, you would think Cedar Rapids is just one of the many thousands of unheard-of towns across this rather gigantic country.

You would be wrong, though. For reasons unknown, Cedar Rapids has etched out an unexpected amount of national recognition in recent years. Let me count the ways.

First off, our nation’s ambassador to jackassery Ashton Kutcher grew up in Cedar Rapids. (And no, I never met that pansy during my childhood visits.) Same goes for both Elijah Wood and Ron Livingston. Already, this seems a rather impressive cast of stars hailing from the same Iowa town, right? Does to me.

Now add in athletes such as Arizona Cardinals QB (and husband of Ma’am) Kurt Warner, recent Masters champ Zach Johnson, former MLB pitcher Cal Eldred, former Chief QB Trent Green and current A’s outfielder Ryan Sweeney. And we’re not done there: the Wright brothers, the godfathers of flight, also grew up in CR.

In addition, it was just announced last week that an upcoming film, produced by Alexander Payne and starring Ed Helms, will be based in Cedar Rapids. The hits just keep on coming.

Am I high, or is that a helluva lot of recognition for a modest-sized Midwestern city? Cedar Rapids has more famous natives than similar-sized proximities Sioux Falls, Fargo, Des Moines, Duluth and more. It’s not even close.

Which means it’s time to ask the question: what are they putting in the water in Cedar Rapids, Iowa?

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One Response to “Let us all purify ourselves in the water from Cedar Rapids, Iowa”

  1. Stinger July 20, 2009 at 9:13 am #

    Apparently they are putting naked, drunken 21 year-olds in the water.

    http://www.kcrg.com/news/local/50968172.html

    Please also note the name of reporter who wrote this story. Yep, you guessed it…Ashton. You can’t make this stuff up people.

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