Displaced hick “madder than fish grease” even though that doesn’t make any sense, is also a moron

17 Jun

scooterfunHey, have you had your daily quota of news about idiots on motorized scooters yet? No? Well then, here you go, courtesy of the Star Tribune’s poor “Whistleblower,” who apparently is uninterested in reporting on actual news:

It was after midnight when Ariel Wade rolled into the drive-through at the 24-hour White Castle, one block from the State Capitol. Wade rolled away “madder than fish grease” after the staff refused to hand over any burgers.

The reason: She was riding in an electric mobility scooter. The drive-throughs are for licensed motor vehicles only. White Castle says it’s a safety measure that’s standard in the industry, to keep pedestrians from getting creamed by cars.

But Wade, who uses the scooter because of degenerative arthritis in her back, says the policy discriminates against people who don’t or can’t drive.

Wade then sued NASCAR for not allowing her to enter next weekend’s Sonoma 350 without the use of a functioning automobile, and later in the day the Tour de France for their rule that you have to use a fucking bike in the goddamn race.

I also love this part of the story:

Wade uses her Pride Mobility Celebrity X scooter (top speed: 6 mph) to go just about anywhere. She rides it in the street when the sidewalks are blocked or unplowed, which is legal under a seven-year-old state law. Unlike motorcycles and motor scooters, mobility scooters aren’t licensed or titled in Minnesota, and the law doesn’t give them the same rights to share the roadway as bicycles.

Nevertheless, Wade’s scooter has a headlight and a tail-light, and the squads just drive by when she’s moving down the street.

Here is a solution to end this whole issue: arrest her?

And another gem at the end of the article:

Wade thinks that those policies do a disservice to everybody without a car. She’s not interested in money for her inconvenience. She wants the fast-food giants to serve every customer, regardless of mode of transport, whenever they’re open.

“They pissed off the wrong person,” she said.

Regarding the first paragraph: only 14-year-olds on those wheelie shoes would be willing to sign a petition for this idiotic proposed ruling.

And regarding the second paragraph: no, they haven’t.

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