Will Leitch loves commas and colons

8 Jun

thisiswillleitchI know this is completely irrelevant and probably too blog-insidery and most of you couldn’t care less, but I’d like to take a moment to lightly poke fun at former Deadspin proprietor Will Leitch’s baffling writing style of overusing both commas and colons. Has anyone else noticed this? [Readers look around at each other in confusion and collectively shrug.]

 For example, there has to be only one person in the world who would write a sentence like this:

Sure, I guess nothing is at stake, but, jeez, it’s baseball: There’s rarely anything at stake until September. 

And this is coming from one of the web’s superstar writers! Also, this gem:

I don’t think I’ve missed an All-Star Game in years: I even stayed up for the weird tie game.

Can someone explain why on earth he chose to use colons in either of those two above sentences? I am plumb befuddled. A few more examples:

Everything’s all fuzzy now, and though I’d argue that it was pretty much always like this, certainly, public perception has morphed somewhat.

It’s one thing to lose to Jay Leno: People are morons, you know, so at least you fought the good fight, Dave, even if you lost to the morons.

That last sentence almost made my head explode. Will: your overuse, of commas, make you sound, like that kid, from that show: Malcolm, in the Middle.

Also, these examples are from just one column. There are thousands of other confounding and rather hilarious examples if you want to dig through the archives.

Like I said, not that relevant or interesting. Sorry.

(I should probably point out that Leitch is otherwise a great writer and has been very friendly the few times we’ve emailed and I’m jealous of his success, etc. Which is all 100% true. But still. Couldn’t resist.)

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4 Responses to “Will Leitch loves commas and colons”

  1. Will Leitch June 9, 2009 at 6:25 am #

    You know, now that I think about it, it’s possible, actually, that you might, indeed, have a point: Let’s see how this goes down the line; maybe, someday, I can, in fact, change.

  2. Jon June 9, 2009 at 8:17 am #

    Maybe they didn’t have semicolons in Mattoon, Illinois.

  3. Cool Rut June 9, 2009 at 10:22 am #

    Dude, I had to try. If that is the real Will Leitch, or even a fake, the sentence that I am responding to, weakly, I might add, is freaking hilarious, and I am stoked, for you, that he visited the site. This Will dude really needs to read the 2nd Amendment for us. Have you ever read it? Swear the founding fathers went to the Will Leitch school of grammar-more freaking commas….you know that commas can change meaning? My hope is Will will stumble on what gun control boobs have been missing-what the amendment really means. Give Americans a collective “aha-now I get it”. Grammar could be better in my response but I am trying to create a stir, ala Will L., called the Cool Rut style of writing… I was thinking also that my response could have a clearer more concise point but I never have a clue where my spontaneous prose will lead me. Did I tell you about my neighbor with one tooth? He has one big front tooth-his mom has only molars. I might have hit the good stuff too hard but I swear he had a piece of beef jerky and ripped off a hunk with his fang and gave it to his mom-then she grinded it up with her molars and gave it back to him to swallow. He rips, she grinds. One set of functioning teeth-two people, yet they make it work. That is what more Americans need to understand that life is lemons. Hell you might have lost all your teeth (save one) but you can still buy a $9 bag of jerky instead of moving out of your condemned home or replacing the slippers you wear as shoes or the dirty sweatpants that accentuate your balls so nicely or rent a mower to cut your 3 foot tall weed lawn or to get counseling to stop exposing yourself to strangers and peeping in their windows-see this guy had a problem and he found a solution. Can’t you just imagine his decision-making process-“that peppered jack links looks so good-but I can’t grind it up with just my gums and fang what to do what to do what to do-mom has a few different looking teeth that I do – mom can help-now I can’t wait to get home but first I need to flash the old lady on Quail St”.

  4. MNB June 10, 2009 at 1:48 pm #

    Cool Rut, I like your brand of crazy.

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