Wednesday swag

29 Apr

20090427_garycoleman_250x375{+} DEMOCRAT AMMO: Your typical Republican is no doubt shaking his fury fist at the rising budget numbers, but at least no one can call President Obama a beatnik pantywaist considering he’s increasing the Bush-era defense spending by $21 billion. So…yay? 

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{+} FUN WITH FETISHES: So the other day, my buddy Mike is all, “dude, I found this bug costume in my attic and I kind of want someone to nail me while I’m wearing it.” And I was like, “you can’t be serious, brah.” Turns out, he was. Bad form, Mike.  Lose my contact info.

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{+} LAME JOKES: In the running this week for Least Funny Human is the crazily named Ron Carlson, director of an upcoming movie that…this can’t be true…pokes fun at…midgets? No effing way. Even worse is the news that Carlson’s next slated film takes square aim at redheads. After that: the pigeon-toed. Hilarity! 

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{+} SAYONARA, CHECKS AND BALANCES: Bad news for fervent lovers of democracy: Senator Arlen Specter has defected to the party of hippie-dippie socialists, giving the Democrats the 60 votes they need to steamroll their sure-to-be upcoming bills such as the “All-Homosexual Army” and increasing the upper-income tax bracket to a cool 75%. 

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{+} THEY’RE THE BEST BECAUSE THEY AGREED TO BE IN OUR MAGAZINE: The headline from Rolling Stone’s feature on Kings of Leon:13 Things You Didn’t Know About Rock’s Hottest Band.  The first item on the list is that Kings of Leon is rock’s hottest band. Ha! 

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