Monday swag

19 Apr

Just one link to offer today, since it happens to be a mammoth 9,000+ word article that I’m kindly requiring you to read: Esquire’s feature on Todd Marinovich. Print it out for the commute or the toilet bowl; whichever you please. Just make sure you read it (an interest in football not necessary). The piece contains one of the most improbable sentences you’ll ever come across:

On his fourth birthday, Todd ran four miles along the ocean’s edge in thirty-two minutes, an eight-minute-mile pace. Marv was with him every step of the way.

…And what I have decided is the greatest sentence the english language has ever seen:

After shitting his pants during warm-ups, he came out and threw ten touchdowns to win a game against the Houston Thunderbears.

It’s time for the rest of us to give up. Nothing will ever compare to that; nothing you write, nothing you read, nothing you experience. Human existence has hit its peak with this news of the post-crap, ten-TD performance from the great Todd Marinovich, and it’s all going to be a long, downhill slide from here on out.

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