Huey Lewis's wish has finally come true

9 Apr

Because I am both a lazy asshole with nothing to do and obsessed with the drug culture, it was pretty much a no-brainer for me to tune into “The Drug Years” on TV a few days back, even though I’ve seen it a number of times already.

While watching, I was reminded of a little-known yet endlessly fascinating drug nugget: ecstasy was legal for a time in the mid-80s. And I don’t mean legal as in no one knew its effects and it was an underground thing of which the government wasn’t aware. I mean there were news reports showing people rolling on E and very obviously wacked out of their minds and having the time of their lives. The newscasters were fittingly mortified at these overjoyed lunatics, and I’m guessing thousands of old people saw the report and immediately dropped dead from fear-induced heart attacks. Just crazy, crazy stuff.

I didn’t give it much thought (beyond being jealous, of course) until I saw a news report a day later regarding a new drug, and realized pretty much the same thing is happening today with “Salvia.” Salvia is a drug that, if you believe the massive video evidence, fucks people up in all the right ways. They’re loopy, strange, bugged out and probably killing off most of their remaining brain cells. There is just no way something that intoxicating isn’t downright terrible for you.

And yet somehow, the Salvia loyalists aren’t breaking the law. Doing it is legal. This is a historically exciting loophole.

What to do about it: because the internet is so awesome it will eventually cause the end of civilization, you can of course order Salvia online. My challenge to you adventurous, morally vague adult readers: someone needs to try this drug and report back the experience to your trusty internet site WoB. Let us squares live vicariously through you and your audacious – and temporarily legal – behavior.

Act now to electrify your senses, before the powers that be come to theirs.

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5 Responses to “Huey Lewis's wish has finally come true”

  1. Jon April 9, 2009 at 9:03 am #

    This is confusing: it’s illegal a few places in the US (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_status_of_Salvia_divinorum), but even the people banning it don’t know why they’re doing so. Maine, on the other hand, decided that the only thing that would be illegal would be to sell it to minors – like booze and cigarettes.

  2. Cool Rut April 10, 2009 at 8:20 pm #

    Buy it and i’ll try it.

  3. B. April 11, 2009 at 10:12 am #

    Ha! I believe that wins the “most predictable comment ever” award.

    I’ll start saving up.

  4. Cool Rut April 13, 2009 at 9:40 am #

    LOL. I believe that I have already won that award numerous times already. Sage advice from the quickly becoming uncool rut-if your most recent “funny” story happened in 1998-just stop talking.

  5. RandBall's Stu April 13, 2009 at 5:08 pm #

    if your most recent “funny” story happened in 1998-just stop talking.

    Please forward that to Bill Simmons.

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