Wolves recap: Top five most interesting things that happened on the 600 block of Minneapolis on February 25

27 Feb

Cross-posted on Randball:

1. Dave Kenwood, a Fargo-based sales representative for a company that sells printing toner, stops in to Applebee’s in Block E after a long day of unfortunate rejections from many local outfits. He first orders a Miller Lite on tap, and then has a second while placing his order of the appetizer sampler. They arrive at an appropriate amount of time later, and he gnaws on the potato skins while leafing through his binder of locations to visit the following day. As he drains his second Miller Lite and begins working on the juicy buffalo wings, he briefly considers ordering a third beer. Then, remembering his company’s alcohol reimbursement restrictions, decides against it. “Just a water,” he tells the frumpy waitress when she stops by to check on him.

2. Three homeless gentlemen sit shivering on a stoop in front of The Loon. They sit in silence, half-heartedly asking for change at the sight of a passing pedestrian. One of the bums removes his ratty gloves, opens his mouth, and begins fingering the hole near the back that used to house the molar that he lost two days ago. He ponders the odd feeling of the gap in his teeth. Just then, an employee of The Loon opens the door and kindly asks the fellows to move along. They stand up and leave in silence.

3. A couple from Richfield has decided to head into the city for dinner. As they exit on 5th Street, the woman says, “Remember how much we enjoyed living in Minneapolis?” The husband grunts in impassivity, mostly because he doesn’t recall being that fond of the experience, but also because the stress of trying to park downtown has his sphincter uncomfortably tight. They soon find themselves on Hennepin, and the wife points out Gluek’s as her chosen destination. Two more blocks of white-knuckled driving from the husband results in them pulling into a public parking ramp. They quickly and easily find a spot and make their way into the restaurant, and though the dinner is pleasant, the man is distracted the entire time worrying about how he is going to find the highway on the way out of the city.

4. A tall, slender woman in her mid-30s, wearing a tan trench coat (clearance rack, J. Crew) arrives at a bus stop on 6th Street and Hennepin Avenue. She is standing alone, in the dark, waiting for the bus that is scheduled to arrive at 7:45, which will take her home to her home in Golden Valley and her two cats, at which point she will microwave a baked potato and crack open a Diet Rite. She has been standing for a few minutes, and soon checks her cheap silver watch (found in a dressing room at Mervyn’s, summer of 2003). The watch tells her it is 7:45 on the nose. She briefly panics, wondering if perhaps the bus has already come and gone. Just as she begins speculating an alternate method of getting home, the bus appears around a corner and stops in front of her. She exhales, smiles, and steps on.

5. The Timberwolves lose a shootout to the Utah Jazz by a score of 120-103. The hometown ballers provide fleeting moments of pleasure for their suffering fan base – Kevin Love puts up a 24/15, for instance, plus that new point guard pulls off a pretty nifty behind-the-back pass – but for the most part, it is what it is. Another loss in a lost season. Fans in attendance note the $1 hot dogs and watching a group of young kids racing around the deserted upper deck as the game’s highlights.

The end.

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