This week in…

3 Feb

CURIOUS THEORIES: I hate to keep harping on Bill Simmons, because I truly enjoy most of his work, but I can’t help but report the “Whaaa…? Theory of the Week” that Simmons thinks Manny Ramirez is underrated. I’ll pause here for you to shake your head in disbelief.

I may not be the sharpest knife on the tree, but it seems to me every damn baseball fan on the planet understands Manny is one of the best hitters of his generation. Right? Pretty sure the fans of whatever team signs him will react with more raging boners than your average seventh-grade sex ed class. Right?

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HYPERBOLE: I’m not enjoying the back-to-back snark directed at writers I respect, and I hate to pick on the bummed-out…but Will Leitch’s write-up after the Cardinals loss was just about the most hilarious display of melodrama I’ve ever read. To wit:

It feels raw, and throbbing, and palpable. It feels what it feels like to be a sports fan. It feels like I cheer for a team that matters. It feels like we’ve got some hair on our chest now. We couldn’t really compare ourselves to the Bills before, or the Browns, those franchises who have come close enough to taste the nectar. Now we can. Now we’ve had some actual suffering. It’s not just a dull slow ache. We’ve actually bled.

He actually wrote that, and more! And I’m pretty sure he was serious!

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ECONOMICS: Want to learn about the stimulus bill, but only have a 30-second attention span? Here’s an overview, complete with a few reasons it’s been met with objection in the House and Senate. Hint: oh so much pork. $600 million for the government to buy fuel-efficient cars? You are all idiots.

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MAGIC TURNED TRAGIC: I’m not sure I want to show this to you, because it’s more or less the creepiest thing I’ve seen in a while (though to be honest, I’m a total wiener who only watches SoapNet and Timberwolves games), but…here is a woman trying to perform a magic act during an NBA halftime who instead has a seizure and nearly dies. Please don’t watch this video.

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CORPORATE CRAP: Best read of the week: Michael Ian Black’s post The Worst Website I’ve Ever Seen. I’ve read the story and checked out said website, and man, he isn’t exaggerating. Though I am pleased to report that no matter how awful my projects go at my corporate nine-to-fiver, there is no way it will compare to this. Hooray for realizing there will always be someone or something worse than you.

It’s learnings like this that get me through the week.

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