This week in…

13 Nov

POLICY: President Obama (B. pauses to conceal half-boner) plans to create an Office of Urban Policy. According to the Office of God-fearing Rural White Citizens, the office will be devoted to shipping large groups of black people to the outskirts of town to rob homes and inject well-meaning youngsters with illegal drugs and do all kinds of other sinning.

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POLICY, TAKE TWO: An update on health care under Obama. More on this next week.

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CINEMA: Danny Boyle, director of kick-ass films Trainspotting, 28 Days Later and Sunshine (do yourself a favor and check that last one out pronto), is back with a new film, Slumdog Millionaire that’s getting some Oscar buzz. Put it on the “to see” list, friends.

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CINEMA, PART DEUX: New York Magazine has provided a guide of potential Oscar contenders. Have a looksie or don’t whatever just saying it’s there if you’re curious.

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BOOB TUBE: Hey look, Mad TV is getting canceled. (B. pauses for disinterested shrugs from readership.) This is terrible news for fans of unfunny sketch comedy everywhere, or so says I, a man who watched all of about 12 total minutes of Mad TV.

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BOOZE: Turns out light drinking during pregnancy is no risk to the baby. I hesitated to report this, simply because I know about a dozen women who are going to be unhealthily excited about the news, but in the long run I realize this is probably the best shot I’ve got at convincing my future bride to letting me knock her up. See baby, you can sire my firstborn without having to ease off the juice hardly a’tall.

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TUNES: GNR’s “Chinese Democracy” – the only two music reviews in the world, compared. I can’t decide if I’m pumped to hear it, or couldn’t possibly be less interested in it. It’s one of those two, I’m sure.

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SPORTS: Photo of the week, courtesy of The Fanhouse: Tiger Woods going back to college to play baseball.

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6 Responses to “This week in…”

  1. Gates November 14, 2008 at 1:09 am #

    I can’t believe Mad TV lasted this long. I remember when it first aired, during one of SNL’s many terrible eras (I’m thinking Jim Breuer/Chris Katan) and it was receiving all sorts of buzz from friends and media alike. Like you, I watched about twelve minutes. The cancellation of this show affects me in no way, whatsoever, as does the release of Chinese Democracy. Is Slash involved? He’s not right. Then I don’t care. Top hat, hair, cigarette. Slash is soooooo the coolest.

  2. RandBall's Stu November 14, 2008 at 8:11 am #

    I’ll see Gates’ Slash and raise him an Izzy MFing Stradlin.

  3. Dave MN November 14, 2008 at 8:58 am #

    Is Buckethead still playing with GNR? He definitely fits into Axl’s new persona as a sideshow.

  4. RandBall's Stu November 14, 2008 at 9:34 am #

    Also, it says that Tommy is still playing bass for GNR. It’s been a decade, and I have yet to wrap my head around how the kid from the Replacements ended up playing for Axl Rose. I doubt I ever will.

  5. B. November 14, 2008 at 11:36 am #

    Axl’s pitched wailing at the VMAs a few years ago is the soundtrack to my nightmares. I can’t imagine this album being any good. Still holding out a sliver of hope, for some unexplainable reason.

    And by “unexplainable,” I of course mean “OMG these guys were like the best band ever for a while there and what if they somehow catch lightning in a bottle and make another kick-ass album aw who am I kidding it’s impossible but still what if.”

  6. Dave MN November 14, 2008 at 2:01 pm #

    Hey, Metallica’s new album is a return to form after several years of utter crap. Anything can happen.

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