Forgive me, but I am going to talk about the Vikings

7 Oct

I am not a fan of writing about the NFL. In fact, I have tried my best of late to consciously avoid any mentions whatsoever of football. And after this post, I fully plan to resume my fervert disregard of the sport on this blog.

Which is strange, because I love watching the Vikings. I’m loathe to miss even a quarter. I plan most Sundays around the game. I play in two fantasy football leagues and harbor an intense dislike of the Packers (which I’ve found this year was actually mostly directed at Favre – I can’t find much to hate about the Pack anymore). I am a fan.

So, then, why do I choose to ignore the Vikings on this blog? Simple: because as much as I love the sport, I equally hate talking about it. More and more, it seems the NFL has gone to the crazies. Almost every NFL fanatic is off his or her rocker in some way – there is no rational discussion anymore. There seem to be two types of people: you either have no interest in football, or you scream and yell and call in to the talk shows and leave incomprehensible rants in the comments section of blogs and claim your team is Super Bowl-bound after wins and that the coach should be fired after losses and consistently lose your cool during each game. There don’t seem to be many fans like me anymore — those of us who love watching football but don’t have their afternoons ruined with losses — so I simply don’t talk about it. Seriously, don’t bring up the NFL to me. Chances are good that I don’t want to talk to you about it.

That said, here are my two thoughts about last night’s completely insane Vikings 30-27 victory over the Saints.

Thought 1: Whoever claims Gus Frerotte “stepped up” at the end of the game has gone off the deep end. I mean like clinically crazy. There were two big plays that turned the game to the Vikings’ favor: Frerotte’s 33-yard touchdown pass to Bernard Berrian, and the pass interference call on Berrian. And in both those plays, Frerotte royally screwed up. Allow me to explain: in the Berrian TD pass, Frerotte wasn’t even throwing it to Berrian. I repeat: he wasn’t even throwing it to him. The pass, intended for Allison, was so damn awful it actually wound up in Berrian’s orbit. You credit Frerotte for that pass, I will have you fitted for a straitjacket.

Same can be said for the pass interference play. The only reason for the fortunate ruling was that the pass was so severely underthrown that Berrian ran right into the defender. Berrian: savvy move. Frerotte: an awesomely terrible throw. And yet, of course, I masochistly listened to sports radio and watched the postgame coverage and read the blogs today, and people are crediting him. Complimenting his play! Did anyone else watch the same game I did? Am I on planet Earth? Is this some Twilight Zone episode where I am the only sane person left? This is the part of the blog post where I pull my hair out at the roots in frustration. You people. My god.

Thought #2, and basically the point of this whole dumb post: let that game — Vikings vs Saints on October 6, 2008 — be the last time we view football as anything beyond superficial entertainment. Please, all, for the sake of your sanity and mine: DO NOT get worked up over football anymore. It’s batshit crazy entertainment, so overly complicated even most players don’t understand it. Anything can happen, as we saw last night and in most every game. No one knows. There is no rhyme or reason to most anything in the sport, strategy means nothing, scouting is useless, knowledge is futile. It’s a goddamn crapshoot. An undeniably entertaining, intense, fun crapshoot, but a crapshoot nonetheless.

I may be acting a bit dramatic here, but it’s for your own good. It’s for society’s own good. This football fanaticism isn’t funny anymore; it’s sad, and it makes us all look like idiots. I’m all for caring about sports and having fun cheering for the hometown squad, but not with the NFL. Not anymore. Not when people lose their collective shit over such fluky BS. It’s not cool to be the guy that screams at his television, that rants to his friends, that gets into arguments about front-office decisions, that has his afternoons ruined by a loss, that credits victory to a guy “stepping up” and a week later the same guy is branded a choker, that ignores all semblance of logic while talking about a sport. Basically, that gets so angry about something they have no control over. Please, I’m begging you: don’t be that person. You look like an idiot.

Almost as much as big as I do for allowing myself this useless rant. Awesome. Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep.


2 Responses to “Forgive me, but I am going to talk about the Vikings”

  1. JMac November 4, 2008 at 7:56 pm #

    Hi, I’m responding to your email this mornin. I randomly clicked on a link here and saw that there were no comments so I thought I’d “comment” here in hopes that you get some sort of popup email when someone comments.

    Anyway! I didn’t do shit to earn a trip to Europe and a cash bonus. Makes me wonder what horribleness is coming my way. Also, I can feel the vise closing around my imaginary nutsack. My stay at Intemark just got a little longer lest they pull a Jake Miller on me and make me pay it all back.


  1. WoB 2008 review - World of B - December 30, 2008

    […] 7: The day I publicly give up on the NFL as anything more than superficial (albeit crazy fun) […]

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