Reason #5,694 that breasts are amazing

29 Sep

In a proclamation that should surprise approximately no one, PETA has requested that Ben & Jerry’s replace the cow’s milk in their ice cream for human breast milk. PETA: unabashed lover of the tit. According to the whip-smart, totally rational and well-adjusted people over at PETA, the children’s rhyme “Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made” should be taken literally.

I’ve been inspired by this call to action, and have recently decided to conduct my own body-fluid substitution. I began replacing the mayo I use when making my roommate’s lunches (yes, I make my roommate’s lunches) with semen. Any little bit helps. Plus: it’s a nifty little morning stress reliever. Total win-win.

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