Oh my god, Sioux City must be the most boring city on the planet

4 Sep

I promise to take back that comment if this article was satire or a spoof.

A martini is not a martini without an olive.

That, at least, is the thinking of a true connoisseur.

And to Siouxland residents, many of whom consider themselves connoisseurs of fine food, a city is not a city without an Olive Garden. So as of Monday, Sioux City becomes a real city.

What for years has been a local obsession — the OG’s manicotti formaggio, chicken vino bianco and zuppa toscana driving Siouxlanders to Omaha and Sioux Falls — has become a reality.

Olive Garden officially opens its newest restaurant at 4 p.m. Monday at 4930 Sergeant Road in Lakeport Commons.

The OG yearning was best expressed by an anxious woman in a big white car who stopped this reporter as he was leaving the new restaurant last week. She rolled down her window and asked if it was open, then looked heartbroken when told that it wasn’t, that the parking lot was simply filled with the vehicles of Olive Garden staff members in training. “I’ve been watching it and marking my calendar until Dec. 11,” she said, her brief hopes for an early Italian dinner quashed.

Wowsers. If this place gets a Joe’s Crab Shack, I’m going to have my bachelor party there.

Seriously, I had the zuppa toscana once. Might as well have thrown some dirt in my mouth while sucking on the teat of a holstein. Blech. Poor Sioux City.

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