This week in…

5 Jul

LAZINESS: Me. I’m lazy. Like every year, the 4th of July holiday wore me the hell out. Though, I will happily report that this year I refrained from drunkenly lighting a firecracker that landed on the roof of my parents’ neighbors cabin. It’s always nice to provoke your straitlaced, corporate executive of a stepdad into calling you a “dumb fuck.” Anyway, here are some interesting links. Just read them, OK?

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TECHNOLOGY: Say what you want about the youth of today (just keep in mind your parents said the same thing about your generation), but man, they know their technology. Latest example, the pool-crashing Brit teenagers. The gist:

Teens scour through the aerial photographs available in the satellite imaging program to locate houses with pools. Once a target has been identified, the revelers use social networking sites like Bebo and Facebook to coordinate illicit pool parties when homeowners are away.

Admit it: these kids are smarter than you.

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INTERESTING TALES: Mystery on Fifth Avenue. Goddamn, rich people have all the luck. Unless I heard wrong, this true story is going to be made into a movie.

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UPDATES ON ‘THE OFFICE’ SPINOFF: Aziz Ansari from Human Giant is set to star. You super-nerdy folks will recognize one of the head writers Alan Yang is also ‘Junior’ from bestsiteever Fire Joe Morgan. Rejoice! Twice!

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FAKE ROASTS: Hilarious Phillies blog The Fightins’ roasts John Kruk. So good.

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FASHION: You twentysomething folk probably remember hypercolor shirts. If you actually owned one, you are likely blushing from shame right now. Good, you should be. Anyway, apparently every employee at American Apparel is suffering from that Memento-style lack of memory, because they’re making a comeback. My god, with the prospective of comebacks of these, Zubaz and fanny packs, we are headed for one of the funniest fashion eras of all time. Buckle up, normal people, this is gonna be great.

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SCIENTOLOGY CLAIMING ANOTHER ONE: This time, the victim is Will Smith. RIP, normal human being; welcome, robot living inside Fresh Prince’s body.

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JOURNALISTS: Hey, you know who we should never trust for breaking news again? Chris Mortensen. You have hoodwinked us for the last time, you attention-starved hack.

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HEADLINES: Best one I read in the past week is here. Tee hee.

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