NEW ‘DOS: As a huge fan of insane fashion statements (they only make the rest of us look better), I’d like to go on record as saying I hope and pray this animal hairdo thing catches on. (Credit to A.B. for passing along the link. And to answer your question, A.B.: no, I don’t think the bear ‘do will look bad on you. Go for it. Please.)
UNJUSTNESS: I’m with C. Monks on this one: this woman does not deserve to be called a dog. I mean, I guess I’m happy that her prize was a new pooch…but. Still. It’s just offensive.
THE RUNS: On the silver screen, laxative-spiked beverages is usually a sure bet for cheap laughs. In real life, apparently it gets you arrested. Somewhere, Harry Dunn is shuddering from the memories.
SUPER FUN NEW GAME: It’s time for another round of “who’s more bored?” Is it:
(A) The kids at Gloucester high school, whose alleged pregnancy pact led to 17 knocked-up teens?
(B) The police staff in Lakeville, MN, who had so little to do last weekend they entered a residence, walked up the stairs and woke the owner to tell him he left his front door unlocked and garage door open?
or (C) Me, for writing about it?
Please submit your answer by noon. Winner will receive a toilet paper wedding dress.
DEFECTIVE YETINESS: Matthew B. describes the typical reaction through the years from people when they learn he doesn’t own a cell phone. Damn funny, like everything he does.