Web grabs for a Tuesday

25 Feb

diablo.jpg>> Many congrats to Minnesota’s own prodigal slut (her words) Diablo Cody for her victory at last night’s Academy Awards. Anyone interested in reading Cody’s earlier work at the City Pages can find a few articles here. I’d like to think the snark being lobbed towards Diablo will die down soon, but the realist in me knows the sour grapes won’t disappear until she’s been knocked down a peg or two.  Shame.

>>  We all know who Sarah Silverman’s been f*cking, but did you know about Jimmy Kimmel’s recent admitted infidelity? It may surprise you. Side note: Kimmel must be the greatest guy in Hollywood to attract all those stars for a silly four-minute video. Mad respect to that lumpy bastard. “Jimmy Kimmel: he’s fat and has no charisma. Watch your back, Danny Aiello!”

>> Cracked.com’s best of the week: “Sleep Jerk to Piss Shivers: 5 Body Mysteries Explained.”

>> Jeff Pearlman’s recent article about the political apathy amongst major league baseball players seemed a bit unfair/pointless to me. He seems deeply disappointed that multimillionaire twentysomething celebrities don’t take more of an interest in the political arena. I don’t know, it just read a lot like a grandparent harping on the youth of today not practicing abstinence. Sort of a fact of life, ain’t it?

>> Three Twins-related links for you fellow diehards out there:

1. I discovered this site just last week and it’s already one of my favorites: Pioneer Press Twins beat writer Phil Miller’s blog. Well-written, feels-like-you’re-there commentary about his observations at Spring Training. I’m headed there in two weeks so the content provides me pants-tightening anticipation ammunition, but those of you not venturing south for the action may just weep with jealousy. Totally understandable.

2. This website has the Twins finishing in the cellar at 70-92. Those guys (the writers, not the Twins) are bastards. Funny, sure; but evil, evil bastards.

3. As I write this, Barry Bonds is still available, though he is engaged in discussions with the Devil Rays. Question of the day: would you be in favor of Bonds signing with the Twins? My reaction to that (impossible) scenario ranges somewhere from full support to wetting myself with glee. And you?

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10 Responses to “Web grabs for a Tuesday”

  1. The Inevitable Muck-up February 26, 2008 at 5:39 am #

    I’ll probably get slaughtered for this, but I don’t really feel that steroids are that big of a deal. I hate that our senate and house spend time on issues like this when the economy is in disarray and injust wars are being waged. I know that there should be a feeling of guilt associated with steroids, but I feel that it may fall within the domain of marijuana with me. I hate the fact that people are locked up for marijuana and I feel like in the long run steroids may be no worse. I feel like evolution happens outside of our bodies in certain situations and our government may be intruding on something that may not actually be a horrible idea.

    I’ve never had roid rage and I don’t fully understand the idea, or the issues with the drug. Maybe steroids are a way that the human race actually furthers itself. What I do understand is that Heroin, Methamphedemines, Cocain and Halucinongines outside of marijuana are very dangerous.

    I feel like sometimes the government twists our ideas of what drugs do or mean in order to kowtow to big pharm and their ideas of what we should be doing as a society. I am 100% convinced that the only reason marijuana is illegal is because of Willliam Randolph Hearst and I’m not so sure that I’ll view Steroids any other way when I’m 70 or 80 even if the rest of the country doesn’t agree with me.

    Bonds will never be a Twin and neither will Clemens, but when they began using these drugs they were not against the rules and they never lead to any destruction of property of lives and I wonder just how harmful they are to humans.

    Is it only cheating because everyone cannot afford to take steroids?

  2. norm February 26, 2008 at 9:44 am #

    Thank you, The Inevitable Muck-up, for reminding us that marijuana is indeed harmful to the brain. That was hilarious (I mean that in a “hope you were joking” kind of way).

    “I feel like evolution happens outside of our bodies” – classic. If only Darwin had put it so eloquently, he might have actually achieved some fame.

  3. Cool Rut February 26, 2008 at 9:58 am #

    Way, way too much to comment on and my brain is all mucked-up from marijuana. When I get clear-headed…there is going to be some serious commentary.

  4. cooler rut February 26, 2008 at 1:09 pm #

    having bonds join the twins i feel is a decent idea. I feel that this is a perfect way for the twins to get out of the small market ways and put tons of people in the seats every night. Maybe for once we could make enough money to be able to sign players like Santana and Hunter and get rid of the whole “wait and see” approach when signing and trading for young prospects that MIGHT be good, its getting old. He may be a bastard and may be a cancer in the clubhouse, but at 65 years old, or however old he is he still can DH and hit 25-35 homeruns for a team that has been in desperate need for a power hitting DH, and whith our young, maybe talented pictching staff scoring runs is a must this season. I know i would go watch him play, even though i hate him very much!! and i think most twins fans feel the same way. Im not going to comment or argue with the effects on the brain with Norm, cause he is much smarted then i am! Thats all, and good day!

  5. B. February 26, 2008 at 6:42 pm #

    Muck-up,
    Though I share your sentiment that the steroids issue in baseball has been blown way out of proportion (I’m hoping we can soon treat steroid-users in the MLB the same we do NFL players – they say sorry, serve their suspension and everyone moves on), I do know that steroids are very harmful and in some cases deadly.

    Also, steroids were banned long before Bonds, Clemens or any other recent player began using them. The reason they are rightfully banned from the league is due to their effects, not their expense.

    But, I do appreciate your POV (unlike Norm – but you have to forgive him, he’s a wunderkind phD and is still trying to come to grips that the rest of us possess roughly 10% of his mental capacity).

  6. Cool Rut February 27, 2008 at 8:23 am #

    Okay, I am getting a clearer head. I am almost ready to mix it up.

  7. Cool Rut February 27, 2008 at 12:07 pm #

    I never knew that norm could be such a meanie. Is this the same kid that once thought Pat Buchanen was a worthy choice for President? I know plenty of phds that were not that stupid when they were younger.

    The muck-up has some theories that I think need to be flushed out by some hard questioning, but not in this forum. I am thinking house party, booze and cards. Similar to a discusion I had once about liking your teammates and the resulting effect on team performance. That turned out to be quite the humdinger.

    Bonds is not wanted by me. I heard part of the reason he might retire is that New Era doesn’t make a size 9 hat.

    I am embarrassed by this post. It lacks my usual killer wit. It has to be the material. Boring stuff. So I am out.

  8. The Inevitable Muck-up March 2, 2008 at 3:13 pm #

    Norm- I never said that Marijuana wasn’t harmful to the brain, I said that hard drugs were very dangerous. I meant that it was no more harmful that other legal substances, namely alcohol.

    Also, after harnessing fire and learning how to bring it to life on our own we cooked our food and developed metallurgy. We evolved. Do you think this evolution began in our bodies because of something outside of our bodies?

    B- When I said steroids I meant HGH specifically. HGH was not banned by Major league Baseball until January of 2005.

    I’m not advocating the use of it, as there have been no studies on the long term effects to date, I’m only saying that the description of the side effects are no worse than any prescription in your medicine cabinet.

  9. norm March 4, 2008 at 8:45 am #

    To address your comment, Muck-up, your use of evolution (in a biological sense) is incorrect. If you were referring to a generic use of change and not biological evolution, ignore the rest.

    Learning how to harness fire and comprehend more advanced ideas was most likely a consequence of evolution from Homo erectus to Homo sapiens (us). Evolution is not simply inventing a new device, it has to be directly linked to inherited traits based on genes (DNA).

    So your question of “Do you think this evolution began in our bodies because of something outside of our bodies?” is then irrelevant, since “this evolution” is not in fact evolution. The human brain was capable of such advances without the need to evolve from a genetic standpoint.

    Also your comment of “I feel like evolution happens outside of our bodies” was mainly just funny to me.

  10. B. March 4, 2008 at 10:21 am #

    But what does this have to do with the piss shivers?

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