When email forwards go bad

7 Nov

frustration3.jpgA friend, because he apparently hates me and wants me to have a heart attack, passed along the following forward to me today:

A Democratic Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, on a farm in Iowa, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.

She called all of her neighbors together and said, “If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?”

“Not I,” said the cow.
“Not I,” said the duck.
“Not I,” said the pig.
“Not I,” said the goose.

“Then I will do it by myself.”, said the little red hen. And so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

“Who will help me reap my wheat?” asked the little red hen.

“Not I,” said the duck.
“Out of my classification,” said the pig.
“I’d lose my seniority,” said the cow.
“I ‘d lose my unemployment compensation,” said the goose.

“Then I will do it by myself,” said the little red hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread. “Who will help me bake the bread?”, asked the little red hen.

“That would be overtime for me,” said the cow.
“I’d lose my welfare benefits,” said the duck.
“I’m a dropout and never learned how,” said the pig.
“If I’m to be the only helper, that’s discrimination,” said the goose.

“Then I will do it by myself,” said the little red hen. She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see.
They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, “No, I shall eat all five loaves.”

“Excess profits!” cried the cow.
“Capitalist leech!” screamed the duck.
“I demand equal rights!” yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain.

And they all painted “Unfair!!” picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then a government agent came, he said to the little red hen, “You must not be so greedy.”

“But I earned the bread,” said the little red hen.

“Exactly,” said the agent. “That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants.
But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.”

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, “I am grateful, for now I truly understand.”

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the “party” and got her bread free.
And all the Democrats smiled. ‘Fairness’ had been established. Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared …
as long as there was free bread that “the rich” were paying for.

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs. Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That’s $20 million for memories from two people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified under oath, that they couldn’t remember anything.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY, OR WHAT?

To which I responded, in under a minute and without re-reading because I was afraid the fire emanating from my every pore would soon set my computer ablaze:

You tell whoever sent you this that this is the most idiotic thing I have ever read, and if they cared to actually read a newspaper once in while or take an intro to political science class then they wouldn’t have the intelligence of an illiterate Nazi, and anyone – democrat or republican – who DOESN’T have their head positioned directly up their own ass will see right though this simplistic, asinine BS. This forward doesn’t paint a poor picture of democrats, it paints a poor picture of our country in that there are people forwarding shit like this around and pretending life actually works like this and it is steeped in even an iota of reality.

Please, people, do not send me political forwards anymore. I’ve gone nearly 27 years without the need for a Prozac prescription and I’d like to keep that streak going.

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