Three completely unrelated links

24 Jul

thelovestroke.gif1. (From the department of I Don’t Care But You Might) Britney Spears apparently suffered another recent meltdown, this time in front of OK! Magazine staffers. The mag is said to have spent “a heartbreaking day” with Britney. Upon reading this, the immediate reaction of “Just one day? Consider yourself lucky” was simultaneously thought by Britney’s manager, Britney’s agent, Britney’s publicist, Britney’s bodyguards, Britney’s entire family, dozens of photographers, the entire staff at her recent rehab stint, Justin Timberlake, Jason Alexander, K-Fed, and, hilariously, Britney’s two children.

2. Personal DNA is actually a fairly enjoyable waste of time. I was found to be a “benevolent leader,” and my Masculinity score checked in at 98. In a related note, I also set a personal record of self-delusion, which is quite a feat.

3. As you are all well aware, my storied skirt-chasing reputation has made me something of an international phenomenon. I am Don Juan, reincarnated. As such, I’ve been repeatedly asked to reveal a few of my strategies.

I’ve always kept silent.

Until today.

That’s right, after all my years of slaying hoes, I’m finally ready to give up the goods. You ready? Here goes: everything you’ve ever wanted to know about how to get a woman in bed can be found right here., baby; because it’s all about the poems. I’m talking erotic love poems, romantic love poems, falling in love poems, forbidden love poems … they’re all available for you, and they all work.

So there’s my secret: hypnosis by way of downloaded poems. Best of luck.


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