Commenter Cool Rut can tell some stories

8 May

beer-poster.jpgAn email excerpt from Cool Rut (also my uncle), who was recounting a story about a family member’s upcoming birthday:

“Hayley is turning 16 on Friday. I remember being at Uncle Dave’s house, shortly before I escorted a drunk Dave to bed, when Kelly and Bob spilled the news. You may have heard the story. Aunt Brenda [Dave’s wife] left the family to fry the keg and headed off to bed. As I was walking Dave to the bedroom, Brenda was walking down the hall from the bathroom and I passed Dave to her. Dave stuck out his hand to shake hers and said ‘How are you, I’m Dave.’

He introduced himself to his wife. I have peed in a fridge, slept in a hotel in Hudson after partying in Minneapolis [while living in Robbinsdale], slept under a pine tree, on a curb, in the bushes in front of my parents’, smoked on a gas pump, drove 15 miles on my rim after blowing a tire in a pothole, got punched and broke my nose after disrespecting my bro, held various contests like jumping firepits and off decks, had a cabbie wake me up and, eventually, pull me out of his cab … but I never introduced myself to my wife like I was being sent to bed with a hooker. Some people drink too much sometimes.”

Best family ever, man. You really need to meet them someday.


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