Separated at birth, volume 1

30 Apr

Scene: a hip little apartment in San Francisco. Longtime reader Joel G. is sitting on his couch, watching American Idol’s Melinda Doolittle perform. The television’s glow illuminates Joel’s intense stare as he sits and tries to place Melinda’s face. He’s seen it before, or at least a strong resemblance. But from where? This frustrating inability to recall the lookalike has been driving Joel mad, week in and week out. He racks his brain, frantically searching the abandoned recesses of his memory for a simple–

All of a sudden, Joel’s face brightens as he bolts up. He spikes the remote on the couch and sprints to his computer in the other room, flipping open the laptop’s screen and beginning his search for evidence. He knows just what to do. First, a visit to Google Images. Next, a quick e-mail to his pal B. to report the news. He’s finally figured out who Melinda resembles. His finding:



Melinda’s long lost twin:


Joel snaps his monitor closed and dramatically leans back after firing off the graphical evidence to B, confident his discovery will soon be on the world wide web for all to see. He closes his eyes and lets out a relieved sigh. Stands up, wipes his brow and trudges off to bed, preparing for the first night of sound sleep since he originally laid eyes on the female, fellow neck-less Simon Birch so many weeks ago. Finally, the mystery is solved. Joel is tired. So tired.

He’s asleep before his head hits the pillow.


2 Responses to “Separated at birth, volume 1”

  1. Cool Rut April 30, 2007 at 9:28 pm #

    Joel G. is a funny kid. I do see the resemblance.

  2. Joel April 30, 2007 at 10:05 pm #


    I’m frightened by exactly how spot-on your description of that fateful night is. To the tee. To the tee!

    I hereby authorize you to film a dramatic, Rescue 911-style reenactment of the events.

    P.S. Good eye, Cool Rut. Good eye.

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