I'm not an entertainment guide but I play one on the internet

12 Feb
goonie-goo-hoo.jpgTo continue in my noble (futile) attempt to massage your tastes and lead you down the path of informed hipsterdom of which I’ve so gracefully cleared the way, below is a list of “Endorsed by B” features condensed into one nifty (lazy) post. Each bullet is heartily recommended.

MUSIC: iConcertCal is probably the coolest innovation I’ve unearthed in quite a while. No kidding. It’s a free program that searches your iTunes folder and lists local concerts of every artist on your hard drive. Just download the program, open it in your iTunes, enter your city, state and the desired radius and whalla. This is going to be my favorite invention until someone devises a program that will keep me from acting like a total jackass at said concerts.

SPORTS: Kevin Durant, Longhorns stud baller. You’ve all seen this guy play, right? I finally saw him play tonight and was transfixed by the kid. The kicker? It was one of his worst games of the season. Holy hell. Fella’s smoove to the groove like sandwich bread.

MOVIES: At the risk of offering some President Bush-level hyperbole, you won’t find a funnier rental than Eddie Murphy’s seminal stand-up “Delirious,” released last week on DVD. Why it took until now to be formatted to DVD is beyond me, but complaining about the delay is useless now, so let’s just get on with our lives. Got no plans this Wednesday? Be like me: pick up “Delirious” and watch it alone in the dark with a glass of lemonade (that cool refreshing drink). The gut-busting comedic stylings of Murphy will surely brighten your day and, god willing, briefly take your mind off the fact that you’re pathetic and undatable. Enjoy!

WORDS: David Sedaris wrote a little somethin’-somethin’ for the New Yorker; brilliant as usual. The feelings of admiration I experience while reading Sedaris are matched only by my seething jealousy.

Those of you who find yourself watching waaaaay too much MTV (which is to say, any MTV at all) will enjoy Sarah Hepola’s essay Run for the Hills featured at The Morning News. I’m no fan of The Hills, but I’ve spent enough hungover afternoons watching the show to laugh at this part: “The Hills, like Laguna Beach, takes place on this evil alternate planet where there are no adults, no drinking ages, no credit card limits, and almost no day jobs. And yet everyone is still miserable, because they are forever making such bad decisions. In fact, when confronted with a dilemma—spend a summer in Paris or spend it with your loser boyfriend? Shut up or get in a fight?—the characters on The Hills always—always—choose unwisely. This makes it like a horror movie, where people are forever hearing a rumble in the basement and going to investigate while the audience screams and cringes. Except instead of the girls getting their intestines sliced open by a masked serial murderer, they wind up dating Jason.”

See, that’s the thing about writing: if someone’s good enough at it, they can rationalize just about anything and convince you it makes sense…even watching The Hills. I love the English language.


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