The Cooler: just trying not to Shrute things up

22 Jan

mimingateambj.jpgHere’re a few stories that may provide ammo ’round the watercooler in the A.M. Preach it like you seen it first, y’all:

>> EARLY FRONTRUNNER FOR DUMBEST BUSINESS MOVE OF THE YEAR: Designing a movie theater with an outdoor ticket window. In Minnesota.

>> MOST RANDOM QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Courtesy of rapper The Game, who, when asked about David Beckham’s recent signing with the L.A. Galaxy, said, “I’d kick David Beckham’s ass on any given day. I’d just pick the ball up and kick the shit out of the stadium, game over.” Which kind of makes me wonder, does The Game think “David Beckham” is merely a brand of soccer ball?

>> CLEVEREST STORY OF THE WEEK: Found at defective yeti. The piece actually doubles as “best parenting strategy of the week” as well, and something I’m mos def gonna keep in mind in case I don’t feel like ditching the next woman I knock up.

>>  THE NO-AWARD POST THAT STILL GETS A SHOUT-OUT: From Cracked.com, “Caring For Your Pet Lohan.” The story contains a few funny quips, but gets major points for the pictures. Please, Lindsay, bring back the curves.

>> BEST MIMED TEAM B.J. OF THE WEEK: Brit Spears and an unknown teammate (see above). Picture of the week? Try picture of the year.

>> BEST THING ABOUT THE UPCOMING SUPER BOWL MATCHUP: Is that I have a reason to post the video clip shown below. “That was me”=hilarity. On a much more depressing note, the memory of the Bears superfans is the only positive aspect of the Colts vs. Bears matchup. The fact that either Rex Grossman or Peyton Manning (two of the weeniest QBs in the game) will soon be able to preface his name with “Super Bowl winning” really bums me out.

As for me, I suppose I’ll reluctantly cheer for the Bears. Even though they bore me to tears and I hate most of their fans, Rexy is just slightly less hateable than Peyton. A man can only hear “cut that meat!” so many times before pledging a life-long allegiance of hatred.

So. Colts versus Bears. Yippee.

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