The Cooler: because it's Friday already

30 Nov

melgibson.jpgI’ve read these stories and have no use for them anymore. So, here, take them:

>> This is probably the first and last time I’ll ever mention music review website Pitchfork Media, but Slate’s Matthew Shaer does a great job summing up the reasons behind Pitchfork’s divisive nature. I recommend reading the article, and then never visiting Pitchfork ever again. But then, you’re your own person. You can do what you want.

>> Obviously jealous at all the awesome attention Michael Richards has been receiving for his totally wacky racist tirade last week, Mel Gibson stepped forward and bravely sympathized with Richards. So not only did Gibson offer a hilarious bigoted rant of his own recently, but he’s also stealing headlines even when other celebrities act like deplorable a-holes in public. Man, that guy is just playing the media like a fiddle. He’s amazing. It’s like, every time some Johnny Come Lately tries to step up and challenge the champ as Hollywood’s Biggest Dickhead, Gibson comes right back with a totally savvy marketing play to keep himself atop the list. Nice try, Richards, but you didn’t stand a chance.

>> There is absolutely no need to embellish or upsell this story in any way. It stands up on its own: Uwe Boll, generally regarded as one of the worst filmmakers in the world, finally got sick of all the criticism and boldly challenged every movie critic to a fight. And not just some lame “hey, put your money where your mouth is” dare. He actually invited the critics to box him, in a ring, with cameras rolling. And four of them actually accepted. Unreal.

>> Remind me to never raise my children in New Delhi. Or on a farm, for that matter. (Oh, and yes, I know there’s a simple Delhi/deli joke here, but I’m going to refrain.)

>> The Best Week Ever blog dug up a funny/wince-inducing video of Jessica Simpson evidently trying to smuggle a yo-yo. It’s good for a laugh, promise. Not a great week for the hoo-has of former teenage pop stars, by the way.

>> As if you didn’t know, C Monks totally kicked Thanksgiving’s ass. Which kind of sucks for me, because I in turn got my ass handed to me by that very same Thanksgiving. While C Monks was making the holiday his bitch, I, nursing a frightening hangover, took a two-hour nap in the middle of my grandma’s living room in the midst of the entire family. C Monks, looks like you win this round.

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