The Cooler: it's not child molestation if the lad seems to enjoy it

19 Oct

Another weekly round-up of the best stories from around the web:

  • If you refuse to believe my endorsement of Pedialyte as the best cure for hangovers, maybe you’ll listen to the Minnesota Vikings. (And yes, I understand they don’t come right out and say “we use this when we’re hung over,” but you have to read between the lines. It also helps if you’re hung over at this very instant and are willing to try anything.)borat.jpg
  • For those of you who missed Comedy Central’s recent “Night of Too Many Stars” telethon, CC’s website has most of the clips available. I’m pretty sure watching the bits from Ricky Gervais, Steve Carell and Bob & David is going to be more enjoyable than that spreadsheet you’re ignoring. Just give in already.
  • Jealous female rage has never been so hilarious than it was this week, on Junkiness. And I mean that in the most complimentary way possible.
  • The track listing for the soon-to-be-released The OC Mix 6 looks downright kick-ass. Rogue Wave, Mates of State, Band of Horses, Lady Sovereign … even the most ardent haters of the show should be looking forward to this disc’s release.
  • Two weeks until the release of Borat. I’ve been watching the preview daily in anticipation. I’m not going to suggest you do the same, but I will provide the link just in case you’re interested.
  • One site I discovered and bookmarked this week: Slant Magazine. Dig those succinct reviews.
  • And now, for perhaps the most hilarious news article I’ve read in years, “Priest admits fondling Foley, says it wasn’t abuse.” (And no, that’s not a headline from The Onion. It’s an honest-to-goodness news article.) But honestly, that priest may have a point. I mean, you should’ve seen the way Foley was wearing his Boy Scout uniform. Shorts hitched up just a bit too high, neck kerchief slung to the side all willy-nilly … the kid was just asking for it. And the way he — actually, never mind. I’m going to stop. I could make jokes all day and never top the hilarity of the actual article. When a priest is quoted as saying, “He seemed to like it, you know? So it was sort of more like a spontaneous thing,” it’s probably best to just let the story speak for itself. But I will say: this may be my favorite news story since Mel Gibson uttered the word “Sugartits.” Catholicism is going through a bit of a rough patch, I’d say.
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